Changing Our Perceptions with Loving-Kindness
Recently, I’ve been trying to incorporate meditation and mindfulness into my daily schedule more. I’ve always found such a great benefit when I practice it, but during the warmer months, everything was so fast-paced I wasn’t able to slow down and give time to it as much as I’d have liked. As the weather has gotten colder, I’ve felt more of a disconnect from daily activities and have found myself thinking more introspectively. I wanted to delve into some other meditation types to ground myself and see which sorts work for me. One of the first meditations I discovered was Metta meditation.
As things have been slower and more introspective for me lately, I’ve been analysing and practising gratitude for the people in my life and the relationships I’ve nurtured over the years. I’ve thought about the people who give so much knowledge and support to bring me to where I am now. It has also been a time of reflection on those who give me grief, and how I can analyse and change those relationship within myself.
What is Metta?
Metta, also known as loving-kindness, is one of the fundamental Buddhist practices. Simply put, Metta is the compassionate and heartfelt wish for the well-being of oneself and others. When describing Metta, the Buddha used the analogy of the care a mother gives her only child. These practices encourage the softening of the heart and allow the practicer to feel empathy with all of the happiness and sorrow felt in the world.
Metta meditation practice not only brings a great sense of peace and serenity but also helps us train our mind to restrain from preconceived and perceived achievements and weaknesses of others. This is a stepping stone to living with less judgment of ourselves and others around us, a small step in creating kindness in the world. The practice is quite simple and easy to follow. There is numerous places where you can learn how to practice Metta, and to make it easier I’ve created a version that works best for me below.
Find a quiet space and sit down. I preferred this practice in the evening before bed.
Inhale deeply, using diaphragmatic breathing, for a minute.
As you feel your body begin to calm down, repeat the following words to yourself:
May I be happy
May I be well and safe
May I be free from pain and sorrow
May I be peaceful and at ease
Repeat these phrases three times, then start to bring to mind someone you love or is very close to you. Someone who you have unconditional affection and love for. Then repeat the same phrases but direct them towards the person you have chosen. It is good to imagine them in front or next to you, and accepting the love you are directing towards them.
May you be happy
May you be well and safe
May you be free from pain and sorrow
May you be peaceful and at ease
Repeat these statements three times, making sure they are not empty words, but with genuine feeling and with intention.
Next, imagine someone you may be having difficulty with or someone you do not understand. With love and compassion, imagine them in front of you and accepting your sentiments. When we wish for this person’s happiness, the way we perceive them is altered. They are no longer someone who we are against, rather someone who is going through their own difficulties in life just as we are.
Just as I wish to, may you be happy
Just as I wish to, may you be well and safe
Just as I wish to, may you be free from pain and sorrow
Just as I wish to, may you be peaceful and at ease
Repeat these statements three times. Sometimes it was hard not to become judgmental or find my thoughts become stricken with issues I had with these people, but it is crucial to bring back a calm focus, and from a non-judgemental place, wish these statements upon the person of choice.
Take three large deep breaths in and out.
To finish off, now imagine the world as a whole with all its inhabitants. Imagine the world in front of you, lighting up with all the people and creatures that live in it. Now practice warm wishes to everything in that globe in front of you who, just like you, want to be happy.
Just as I wish to, may you be happy
Just as I wish to, may you be well and safe
Just as I wish to, may you be free from pain and sorrow
Just as I wish to, may you be peaceful and at ease
Repeat this statement three times, and take your time to bring yourself back and open your eyes. Notice the state of your mind and how it may have changed after the meditation.
Throughout the two weeks I practised Metta, I found a variety of emotions arise. Sometimes I found myself becoming easily bothered when wishing well wishes towards people I was having difficulty with, but increased practice allowed this to become easier and easier. Another strong emotion that came up was during the second step of good wishes towards someone I hold dear. With certain people, I was overcome with sadness, and I took it as a revelation from my heart of something that I may need to work on, and ultimately felt more connected and compassionate towards that person.
Metta meditation is an excellent tool for building up our ability to relate to the people around us. With this sort of loving-kindness for those around us, we become more peaceful, grounded and calm within our own lives. Throughout life there we all have our ups and downs, and we can’t always change the actions of the people around us, however, with practices within Metta, we can improve our own perception that changes the world around us.
Hope you enjoy practising as much as I did.
With wellness,
Aleksandar
Painting by Vanja Zarić
